Oh, no!

I walk in from lunch, feeling appropriately pukey after having gorged myself on a grilled vegetable burrito from Q-Doba (no, they DON'T sponsor this blog OR my ever burgeoning curves, people as outrageously cool and almost famous as myself really DO eat there) to find that my inbox contains the following message:

"The phones are back up in Boise. Thank you for your patients and understanding."

Shock! Awe! Pick yer jaw up offa that floor! Really, and sometimes I start to doubt that the people I know are smarter than the average bear. But the average bear does NOT assume that a bunch of goofy-ass engineers HAVE any patients. Nor do we assume that spell-check fixes everything.

Additionally, I was extra sensitive to this horror of errors (it warranted an out-loud--Oh! No! at my desk) due to my lunchtime partner, we will, for the sake of this privacy, call him D-Train, an affectionate nickname. I would consider using D-Bag (his name DOES start with a D, after all) but THAT might sound MEAN! HA!!

I only mention him because he took me to B&N to buy me a book. Nice, indeed, almost odd, really, he wants me to read his fave novel and therefore purchased it for me. However, it took an unnecessary amount of time to locate said book. I say, Yo, D-Train, what up? Why you so hung up in the Fiction and Lit? He says, I can't find it, it SAYS these books are alphabetized by AUTHOR but they don't SEEM to be.

Pause. Look. Yes they are. They are. Absolutely.

No, here is a "John."

By last name! LAST NAME YOU FOOL! How to people get through life without understanding this universal truth about alphabetizing! AH!

Then I felt like an asshole. I am clearly an elitist. Of what I don't know. Which category of snob I am in is still open for debate (feel free to weigh in) but I was truly appalled. Then at Q-Doba, I commented, Could anything BE more tasty than grilled vegetables marinated in garlic sauce? He replied: Vegetables marinated in Italian dressing, maybe.

Those of you that know me, already know my deep aversion to Italian-dressing-marinating-men and what a severe blow it is to my image of them. It is ONLY acceptable when terribly poor and lazy and then only on chicken (asparagus?) Either way, VERY LITTLE. Certainly NOT an acceptable alternative to a more refined and delicate garlic.

Deep sigh. Having issue with such trivial things can be SO exhausting.