UNluck

A new conclusion (that is actualy quite old, but never verbalized, and once I had an arsenal of personal support to help me deal with it so it never really had to be verbalized):

I have horrid anxiety the day after some good drinking. Not EVERY day after, I suppose, but, where there is propensity for anxiety already, that damned downer drink nudges me into the nervous/guilty/anxiety-ridden/upset stomach hole that is, well, pretty unpleasant.

Maybe I should stop.

Nah.

It doesn't help that I can NOT figure my karma. Things have been going terribly wrong this whole month (including the last day of last month, really, as the commencement ceremony of shit...getting cheated on, and dumping my favorite person, that was really a great launch to the whole debacle that is June thus far), not all important things, of course, but really, WTF?

So there is the generally cruddy feeling of being broken up with someone you love, right? The weird tension that I now feel toward a whole darn neighborhood--one that happens to be my drive home from work, I might add--that really sets the tone. Avoidance of certain corners and bars and websites and shows and thoughts and buttons on my phone. Talk about anxiety, geez.

Then, speaking of my phone. I would say precisely 8.5 days after the "incident" with that guy I used to date, I left my phone on a table at The Snug--where we had a most chatty and friendly waiter--at approximately 10:15 on a Sunday, out of reach of wandering passer-by (maybe even mostly out of sight), very few customers in sight, and almost no crackheads about. One might think I a phone left in this situation, friendly waiter would be the one to find it and I might be able to retrieve it. But no. Gone. Every phone number, photo, text message I ever got, poof. This sucks ass, BTW.

I was highly upset by this. Highly. I tried to rationalize and feel better, like the universe was saving me the trouble of having to (eventually but probably quite soon) fish through all the cute love messages I had recieved once upon a time from that "man." So, silver lining...sort of. Maybe this is NOT the beginning of a month of negative vibes.

Wrong again, bucko. In the week following this is what occurred: I spent ALL the money I have--err, scratch that, had, lost a very sentimental photo that made me SAD, I got a parking ticket, a flat tire, got in a fight with my friend Tony, I built a book shelf that is LARGE and put ALL my media on it, only to have it fall over entirely (a huge mess and a little scary) and lost my little pouch with my ID, my debit cards, my credit card AND my Panera gift card all in it.

I can't believe my TV hasn't fallen off my wall, I haven't smashed my car to bits, been robbed AND been fired. I mean, for cereal, who's a gal gotta screw around here for some better luck?

I guess what I should add to the above mentioned list of things that have happened to me that I did indeed FIND my oh-so important pouch, soaked through, on the front steps to my house the morning AFTER I had to have dropped it. No one took it. So, maybe my luck is turning after all.