I don't want to be fun at parties. Outgoing and crazy. The girl who can tell a dirty joke. I want someone who will love me for all of me. When I am boring and lazy. When I am chubby and a little sad.

I don't want to have to be half of me all the time.

I don't want someone who I kinda like who thinks I am kind fun. I don't want pure distraction that never pans out to anything good. I just want one person who wants to be with me. Who misses me when I am gone and tells me things that have bothered him. Who wants to share with me things he doesn't share with anyone else. One person who thinks of me when things make him smile. One person who knows who I am and is ok with it.

No one has ever been ok with it. I thought they were. But they weren't. No one wants the whole package.

I want real company and caring. I want my heart to quit this silly palpitation it does. I just want to not be alone in this.