Jesus tapdancing christ I feel small now. And super jealous. And like I never even happened. Look at you go. Look at you two go. Amazing what you can achieve when you don't care who you crush to get there. :) And forget about it right away. And build a business and a perfect life together.
The more I look back. You WERE ashamed to be with me. You never felt proud of me like this. You never wanted to shout it. Make infographics of it.
The worst part is, at this point, I feel like this only confirms my suspicions about myself that I have had for so long anyway. I am not special. Or interesting enough. The people and things that I love and am interested it, will never reciprocate on me. I am not good enough to be who I want to be.
I am just a wanna be who can't contribute anything of worth to the people I want to be around, to the community of thoughts and ideas and creativity that I desire. I am terribly ordinary. So ordinary I fit in no where.
I don't know why I did this. Any of it.
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5 years ago
1 comment:
Woman! Stop thinking of yourself that way! NO!(shakes my finger) YOU are the cool girl that is always FUN at parties (christmas sweater, drinks/bbqs on my porch, new years, big lebowski bus trip, chiefs games, etc) and up for anything spontaneous and mischevious. I envy your outgoing, carefree way that you sing out loud and laugh out loud like there's no one there to judge you. I wanted to know you and become your friend the first time I met you! I love joking with you about the raunchy facts of life (your laugh is highly infectious) I also love your style of writing, your taste for life in general (not to mention, your adorable glasses/frames collection). Any JERKFACE LOSER who could take you for granted and not make you realize your beautiful worth as an exciting, and perfectly loveable individual, does not deserve your tears!!! It sounds ridiculous, but your time for TRUElove will come and he will be a figment of your long-lost imagination. I am positive that he was not the one to help you reach your full potential and wasn't meant to cherish your dearness!!! You are FREE :)
xoxo
-gypsy
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