On A Lighter Note

A list of 10 Things That Prove I Am Not A Sourpussy Old Curmudgeon (in no particular order):

1) I also coined the word sexorexic. For those of us who haven't "eaten" in so long we can't remember being hungry.

I mean, as I told Beth, our sexual ribs are poking through, and when we look in the mirror, we STILL think we look fat.

2) I get to go to the DAILY SHOW TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!

3) Since last post, became presiding KICKBALL CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD! Also saw The Police on a psuedo-date, that was pretty sweet. And free--HA!

4) Will be published as author of FEATURE article in September issue due out in about one point five weeks.

5) Nobody can drink a Car Bomb faster than me, nobody. Yet another heavyweight title belt.

6) My sister has a faux hawk!!! At least some of the time, and I could NOT be any prouder of her coolness.

7) Lakes are fun, suntans funner, new, bigger, better, stronger belly after days of beer swigging and piggin' out, not so cool, but so worth it.

8) Only 2.5 weeks until Monolith. Where there will be great Atmosphere, nah'mean?

9) I have a savings account for the first time since I hit puberty.

10) Last month, I had an opportunity to respond to an especially dou-che (pronounced like touche) date of mine, who when I texted, totally out of courtesy, to see how his new status of self-employer was said, and keep in mind I am pretty darn sure said fellow is an ENORMOUS tool: Muy bueno, como estas? At other times he also said the following: "Dinner at 7, mon cher?" and "Sabor Latino, 7:30, bring your Tommy Gun." So, in response to the polite question, I got to say: "Non important, yo tengo papel." The only thing worth saying in Spanish if you are from my family. And I probably spelled it wrong. Yahoo!