MANtra

I am alone. I am ok with being alone. I can create my own happiness.

I am not more alone if someone else has what I used to. I am not more hurt or sad because someone else gained happiness.

I will deal with myself and myself alone. I will become whole. I can be happy.

I will not imagine the love that I have lost or where it is now. I will keep my eyes ahead. I will heal and be prepared for the happiness I deserve and for which I alone am responsible.

If I keep telling myself this, maybe it will become true. I have no other choice, the opposite is to crumble and give up, to curl into all the images of them that plague me and surrender to the envy and emptiness and anger, the belief that I won't be able to capture what we had with someone else which tries to root itself in my heart and mind every day, every minute, really.

I will remind myself of all the times that happiness was undermined and made false by those closest to me and try and believe, then, that what I knew was not what truly was. I will remind myself that it is possible to be loved without deception, without competition, without fear and worry and hurt, but with honesty and safety and reciprocation.

If I say this enough, I will start to believe it.