I dream about you most nights.

I wake up and dream, half dream, half believe, in making a good deep cut in my skin.

It is the first time in my life I understand.

How it might feel to want to feel...something else.

I am so traumatized. Violated. Emotionally raped. Beaten. It's true.

My self esteem is gone, I blame myself. I obsess. I relive. I grieve and moan.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

You are a bad person. A piece of shit. The things you have done...thing rationalization. You are criminal in your deceit. Epic in your lies. Mostly to yourself.

You are a BAD PERSON. A LIAR. A THIEF. A CHEAT. A FRAUD. A MURDERER. ABUSIVE!!!!! YOU ABUSE, USE, MANIPULATE AND SWINDLE EVERYONE AROUND YOU! YOU FUCKING FAKE!

If I say this enough I will believe it. It IS true. It has BEEN true. YOU ARE A COWARD AND A CRUEL, HATEFUL, SELFISH INFANT!

The only step now is for those around you to believe it. And good for you, duping some weak, naive, EQUALLY lying CHILD into loving you.

I wish you the best.

No, I honestly wish you were dead.

I know that, if something ever happens to you I would regret that. I will probably regret it tomorrow, anyway. But truth be told, I am ok saying it. I loathe you, you and your fuck and run. You fucked my whole life up and ran off with the spoon.

Not that you care, but

I AM NOT OK YOU StuPID SON OF A BITCH. AND IT IS YOUR FAULT!