The last year of my life has been all for nothing. A huge investment, belief, a leap of faith into an empty bucket of all for naught.

I am leaden inside. My self-esteem is shot. I am deeply traumatized and unhappy. Totally invalidated and made into nothing.

Lonely and broken nothing.

I alienate the people around me, I struggle to feel ok. I need a win and can only feel completely collapsed under all of my failure.

And all for what? To be replaced, fast and thoughtless as a lightbulb.

And everyone else in this boat with me got out alive. Left me, marooned out there at sea, told that I was not worth saving.

And they never looked back.