I am supposed to feel like I got rid of something. Something bad.

But my heart feels like it lost something good.

My head knows that he made this harder, longer, more visceral, more immediate...harder than it ever should have been, because he was weak, selfish, untruthful, devious, malicious.

Sounds like a bad bad thing.

But oh, my heart.

And to top it off? I realized now that I never got enough validation, never validated MYSELF enough. That now I am a cripple trying to battle the worst monster.

It is an almost fatal blow for the strongest of heart, this break. This...loss. Dismissal. Exclusion.

And I am the weakest of.

I am flimsy and ripped.