Some are downright deceitful. We are unhappy, we're separated, we haven't spoken. You're what makes me happy, you're who I want, I will stop, I will quit I will leave. False promises proffered to gain from you what they want. Maybe they do want you. But maybe that other person is sitting at home feeling happy, content, safe, knowing only that she hears those same things, at different times.
Things they share with you? Old news. They take all the habits that you used to share, the activities, and just swap you in. You feel special, they say you are. They mean it, but it's half built on fantasy, this isn't SPECIAL. Someone else showed him the relationship he wanted. Not to be too specific but Buckhunter? You had never even touched it before me. Walks. Ice cream. Get your own fucking traditions you cheap asshole. You and your recycled love.
Others are not so...aware. I have been guilty of this. This is when you tell someone that you like them, want them. But you tell someone else that they are just to pass time. Both are true. It is hard enough to look your own real feelings and motivations in the face, they are often difficult and revealing of our worst traits, flaws, fears. Not just that, but it has become so uncouth, so downright embarrassing to be that honest with others that we are forced to be dishonest with ourselves, change our thinking, excuse things we disapprove of in ourselves lest we slip and lay the truth down in front of people who haven't signed up for it.
Then it lays there raw and shivering, not properly prepared for polite conversation, making your new friend queasy and uncomfortable.
Everyone is a big mass of stinking part-lies. Except the eccentrics and kooks, the people we all find disarming, annoying. Why can't they just keep it to themselves.
I kind of hate humanity right this second.
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