When will I be able to quit blaming myself. I think: ok, it was never true, I was never it, he just loves her more and I am stuck with blame. I feel like it was my fault, my blindness, my attachment that just kept it from ending sooner.
If I believe he did then I am covered in blame still. What did i do wrong? Why not me? What is wrong with me? If I had stayed?
When will I not resent myself and you and her? How can I ever feel better?
Now you are totally lost to me. You have been. I dont have you in any way, so much more than ever before, and I just feel such loss, and pain and self pity and hatred.
I am so tired.
How can I recover?
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